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September 11th is approaching. I feel sad, nervous, remorseful, and rage. I always get a bit weepy during this time. I remember so much and one thing that stands out the most is when my mom was watching montage of people who died, she started crying, quietly at first and then big mournful sobs. It was painful for me to see, but oddly enough, I was doing the same silent crying. I cried alot that day, and the nights that followed. To think of so many people who died so suddenly, to count my blessings that I was alive, that my family members were alive, it hurt so much for me to think of death and its terrible effects on the living. I felt so strongly for every person in NY and every person in the country. My heart felt like it was bursting, or melting, or both.

I kind of always assumed every one in the country has some six-degrees of separation to September 11th. I sometimes forget how big this country is. My classmate, who I played softball with and had attended sleep overs with and purposely dumped a cup of water on for my own amusement, she was directly affected by September 11th, and that in turn, affected the rest of us at WHS. Her godfather was onboard one of the flights. Someone very special to her died that day. I couldn't stand this girl and I still don't, but there is a permanant chip on my heart for her. I will never forget her tears.

I wonder if people in other states, on the west coast for example, were as bothered by it. I mean obviously every one was bothered, but does it hit home as hard? Being so close to location, knowing that I had friends whose dads were given 30 minutes to say goodbye to their friends and travel the 5 hours to NYC to relieve emergency service workers, watching it live on tv, it felt too real.

The last few days, there has been a message circulating on facebook. It goes like this"
Due to "lack of room", NYC Police Officers, Port Authority Police Officers
and FDNY Firefighters are not "invited" to the 10th anniversary of 9/11
at Ground Zero. Funny - they weren't invited on that day in 2001, either
- they just "showed up" and became our heroes. Please re-post if you
think they belong MORE than the politicians who are invited.
Immediately, I ignored it, like I do most RE-POST status messages. But tonight, I decided to Snope's it and sure enough, it is true. 

These men and women who served along side emergency workers who died saving lives are not invited to attend a service planned for the families of victims.

Most first responders are inducted, upon graduating, into their respectful brotherhoods (both men and women). Standing inside of a burning apartment complex, you can feel the sweat drip into your eyes, blurring your vision. Your mask is getting foggy and time is running out. You see a person, passed out, damp towel over their face. You try to lift them, but a beam has collapsed and you are stuck. Is it a politician coming to your rescue? Is it the Mayor? Doubtful, unless they are like one of the many firefighters that have a full time job and save lives in their spare time, on-call. The person coming to your aid, is an emergency service first responder; a fire fighter. This person who risks their lives to save others, even if those people willingly put themselves into dangerous situaitons, they work together to save us, to save our family members. Sometimes, they die doing their job, to protect us (from kids with sawed off shotguns). Regardless, that is what these men and women do. They don't just fill out an application and get the job. They train, they hit the books hard, they challenge themselves physically, they take tests and participate in drills, they invest their time, energy, sweat and tears into this. They put their lives on line for US every single day, whether on duty or off. They form bonds in the face of danger with those other people who are risking their lives. To be in that situation, the fully understand, I suppose you would have to experience it to understand.

On September 11, 2001 men and women responded, not knowing what they were encountering, just expecting the worst. I don't think in their worst, they could have imagined what the reality was. They went into those buildings and saved lives. They died trying to protect strangers, average joes, closet wife-beaters, glamazons, bmw-driving-yuppies, crunchy-granola-organic hippies, our family and friends without judgement. They didn't think twice about who they were saving, they simply did it. They willingly ran into the face of danger, choosing to subject themselves to the unknown, accepting the risks and running steadfastly into their death.

and some fucker in New York, wearing a fancy suit and being driven around in a fancy car, some fucker who is ALIVE today - has some right to decide that THEIR FAMILY AND THEIR FRIENDS DO NOT GET TO PARTICIPATE IN THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY AT GROUND ZERO? how. fucking. dare. you.

I challenge you, mr. mayor, to run into a burning building, rescue lives, watch your brothers die around you, feel the terror and anguish having no idea what is going on, I challenge you to do that and tell me, if that changes your mind.

Over 3,000 first responders did that very thing on September 11th and they would do it again, even for a fucker like you. Is it because they survived that you are neglecting them and disrespecting them? Please remember, that because of them - some of your family and friends are alive today. Does that matter to you, Mr. Mayor?


If I were a month, I'd be May.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Wednesday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 2pm.
If I were a planet, I'd be Mercury.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be an Octopus.
If I were a direction, I'd be East.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a Lamp.
If I were a liquid, I'd be Water.
If I were a tree, I'd be a mighty oak.
If I were a flower, I'd be a tiger Lilly.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be warm with a breeze.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be tambourine.
If I were a color, I'd be deep purple.
If I were an emotion, I'd be fury.
If I were a fruit, I'd be a banana.
If I were a sound, I'd be static.
If I were an element, I'd be water.
If I were a car, I'd be a grey hound bus.
If I were a food, I'd be a pickle.
If I were a place, I'd be a small oceanic town.
If I were a taste, I'd be vinegar.
If I were a scent, I'd be cucumber melon.
If I were an object, I'd be a paperless stapler.
If I were a body part, I'd be the pointer finger.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be delight.
If I were a song, I'd be lightening crashes.

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